Date: Mon, 29 Jan 1996 12:04:51 -0800 (PST) From: Kuo-Yee Richard Lee <yrlee@shephard.ieor.berkeley.edu> To: Lance Held <held@bioeng.ucsd.edu> Cc: jowens@aperture.Stanford.EDU Subject: Re: While we're all updating...
hehehe... OK, let me give you a little background first:
So... There we were on Friday night, looking for a little fun on the town in Palo Alto. ("We" being Tobster & Wife, Hank, Vijit, Tex, and myself) We had agreed upon a general plan to go hang out in Palo Alto's yuppie bars for an evening (the first time in my memory that we've ever done so as a group). Anyway. First things first, the cry goes up for a little dinner before the festivities begin...
and here the saga begins:
Since people were in the mood for some tex-mex food, Compadres (you guys have this franchise in SD, right?) was our eatery of choice for the evening. Upon arrival and inspection of the menu, one John D. Owens announced:
"This menu is taunting me!"
Indeed, it might be said that the menu was taunting him, for it clearly listed an entree by the name of "The Taco Fiesta" under which was the phrase: "feeds a family or one Macho Hombre." Tex, having just finished his quals exams that afternoon was feeling both hungry and macho and decided that he was the *hombre* for the job... and without further ado or caution, he made the plunge and ordered the plate.
None of the assembled company gave much thought to the matter at the time of ordering. After all, Mr. Owens' reputation as a consumer of pasta was golden -- and we had no doubts about the applicability of the appetite he displayed in his Spruce House tenure to the Taco Fiesta. However, signs of trouble soon began to appear...
The situation first took on an ominous light when the waitress (named Lisa, and rather cute, as luck would have it) came back to the table to re-check the order.
A few minutes later, the full extent of John's challenge was revealed as Lisa carefully worked her way through the dining area doorway carrying a steaming platter, roughly 2.5 feet in diameter, filled with a multitude of taco fillings, each in its own serving platter. She set this monstrosity down in front of Tex (whose eyes were now round) and said, "I'll be back with your tortillas."
The assembled company was now overflowing with mirth. What better entertainment than a man literally eating his pride? Was it comedy? Was it tragedy? The taunting began to fall heavy and fast on John...
To which John could only reply, "Boy, that's a lot of food..." And then we all began to eat.
FIVE TACOS LATER... Toby had finished his dinner entirely, ordered another beer, and was merely watching Tex eat.
ANOTHER FOUR TACOS LATER... Each member of the assembled company was finished with his/her respective meal. On taco number 9, John noted, "I'm feeling pretty full." This was rejoined with the observation that he had not yet put a noticeable dent in any of the platters of toppings. Of note were three central sauce bowls of salsa and hot sauce which John was carefully avoiding. More taunting ensued, but Tex carried on with his Taco-eating mission undaunted...
AT TACO #10... The bottom of one corner of the chicken platter (or was it the pork?) became apparent. John was making progress, but rather slowly... and to more and more protests of "Boy, I'm really full!" Taunting rose to a howl -- "John, this is actually the last part of your quals exams... we want to see if you can carry through." Vijit played a crucial role as Chief Tormentor: "John, I think you should be able to eat 15. John, aren't those tacos getting kind of boring? John, you need some hot sauce to spice things up..."
AT TACO #12... Lisa was now hovering around John in a very concerned manner.
AT TACO #13... The manager of the restaurant came out to take a picture of John. John managed to smile for the camera, but it would be his last grin for quite a while. Lisa came back out to ask if he really wants to continue. "Would you like me to bag that up for you?" to which John _really_ looks nauseous and says, "No, when I'm done with this, I won't *ever* want to see it again..."
After downing his 13th taco, John appeared to be teetering on the brink of disaster. But after marshalling his last remaining strength and mastering mind over body, he reached for his 14th taco to great cheers from the assembled company. To fulfill Vijit's 15-Taco requirement, he placed two tortillas together and thus ate his 14th and 15th tacos together. While not technically legal, the assembled company was willing to overlook the incident in the interest of moving on.
Immediately after stuffing down his last (two) tacos, Tex slowly rose and made his way to the men's room to great cheering and humming of ESPN Jock Jams theme music...
Thus, the final stats for the evening:
That's the story! Check with John for the scoop on his hitting on the waitress the day after...
Cheers,
-Yee
Date: Mon, 29 Jan 1996 21:06:48 GMT From: jowens (John Owens) To: yrlee@shephard.ieor.berkeley.edu CC: held@bioeng.ucsd.edu, jowens Subject: Re: While we're all updating...
That is a stellar account, and when I get around to scanning the picture I will surely link it to the caption.
As for the end of the story:
It was generally agreed between Vijit and Yee that I deserved Lisa's phone number. I was in no condition to remember, receive, or even ask for said phone number. Not one to pass up opportunities that are made available to me, however, the next day I made a phone call to Compadres and the following conversation ensued:
At this point the conversation was effectively over, but she did tell me to come back and eat there soon. So, that's the end of this particular story, and I will likely not be eating that much in the near, intermediate, or distant future.
JDO
Date: Mon, 29 Jan 1996 13:38:08 +48000 From: Lance Held <held@bioeng.ucsd.edu> To: jowens@aperture.Stanford.EDU Cc: yrlee@shephard.ieor.berkeley.edu, jowens@aperture.Stanford.EDU Subject: Re: While we're all updating...
First of all, kudos to John "put-it-away-like-a-man-or-get-the-hell-out-of-the-dining-room" Owens for this most impressive, yet marginally _insane_, display of conspicuous consumption. Pi * (2.5)^2 square feet of taco footprint is something to shake a stick at! Tough luck with the waitress, even though "I have a boyfriend" is a pretty standard reply for a waitress (i.e. a lot of them are _told_ to say that by the management). I can't wait to see the picture. The closest thing to that feat that I can recall is when Yee ordered the Tio Leo Macho Platter. It was a variety of things though (taco, burrito, enchilada, tostada, carne asada, chile relleno, etc.) but he needed help from Toby to finish it.
Lance
Date: Mon, 8 Apr 1996 11:45:16 -0700 (PDT) From: Kuo-Yee Richard Lee <yrlee@ieor.berkeley.edu> To: John Owens <jowens>
The Tale of the Macho Hombre: THE SEQUEL
On Friday evening (April 5th, 1996) the tragic-hero of our previous report, John "Mex" Owens, was brought once again to Compadres -- the Home of the Taco Fiesta. It must be noted that John was taken to this fine eatery somewhat against his better instincts, however his dining companions Hank "Apprentice Macho Hombre" Jones, Vijit "I think you can eat 15" Sabnis, and Yee "Young Grasshopper Macho Hombre" Lee were in the mood for Mexican food and so the desire for Compadres' gourmet, overcame John's misgivings about potentially seeing Lisa (the "I've got a boyfriend" waitress who waited on us during the Taco Fiesta episode) again. Naturally, John's reluctance provided the rest of us with fuel for taunting, and low-level taunts were traded during the car ride to Compadres.
On that particular evening, Compadres was running a half-hour wait for tables. Our four intrepid diners placed a name on the waiting list and then took a seat by the front door. Hank, eyeing the assorted company dining on the veranda outside the restaurant, noted (quite out of the blue) that "Y'know, I think women in California must have bigger racks than back at home." This somewhat surprising observation was met with quips about "Silicone Valley" and Mississippi taunts, but we'll save all that for another story.
In due time, a table became available, and we noted with some sadness, that (alas!) the fair Lisa was not to be our waitress for the evening; John was clearly relieved -- our taunts in the car had ben for nought, or so he thought...
To keep the spirit of the Taco Fiesta alive, Hank and I decided tackle the famed plate. However, we had learned from John's folly, and so decided to split the dish between us. When the waitress (a very congenial gal with a slight Southern lilt in her speech) came to take our orders, the following conversation ensued:
This thread of conversation carried on for some time and so it became abundantly clear that John's Taco Fiesta adventure will live forever in the annals of Compadres folklore...
As a brief postscript to this tale, I should note that Hank and I earned "student" or "apprentice" Macho Hombre status by downing five and six tacos, respectively. And perhaps under the tutelage of the Macho Hombre himself, we will someday come to be as famous as John "Mex" Owens is at Compadres.
TO BE CONTINUED... (I'm sure)
-Yee
Date: Sat, 22 Jun 1996 12:27:23 -0700 (PDT) From: Kuo-Yee Richard Lee <kyr@best.com> To: John Owens <jowens> Subject: Re: Re Paly page, and Reunion stuff (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Mon, 15 Apr 1996 08:58:41 -0700 From: Carl Jackson <carjack@best.com> To: Kuo-Yee Richard Lee <yrlee@queue.IEOR.Berkeley.EDU> Subject: Re: Re Paly page, and Reunion stuff
...
BTW, if you're organizing your reunion, do not, repeat DO NOT use Compadres restaurant in Palo Alto for food. I can tell you horror stories from three different classes that used them, 86 included.
=-\
Carl
